Be gentle with yourself. These four simple words can be revolutionary for someone walking through grief or difficult times. We often extend compassion freely to others while withholding it from ourselves, adding unnecessary suffering to an already painful journey.
Why Self-Compassion Matters
Grief naturally brings difficult emotions: sadness, anger, guilt, confusion. When we add self-criticism to the mix—judging ourselves for how we're grieving, how long it's taking, or how we're "handling" things—we compound our pain unnecessarily.
Self-compassion doesn't mean self-pity or self-indulgence. It means treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a dear friend who was suffering. It means acknowledging your pain without judgment and giving yourself permission to be human.
Practical Ways to Practice Self-Compassion
- Lower your expectations. Grief takes energy. It's okay if you can't be as productive, social, or "put together" as usual.
- Honor your needs. Rest when you need rest. Cry when you need to cry. Withdraw when you need solitude.
- Speak kindly to yourself. Notice your inner dialogue. Would you say those things to a grieving friend?
- Accept help. Allowing others to support you is not weakness—it's wisdom.
- Release guilt. Moments of joy or normalcy don't mean you've forgotten or stopped loving.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." — Matthew 11:28
Grace Upon Grace
If God extends grace to us freely and abundantly, shouldn't we extend that same grace to ourselves? You are loved. You are allowed to struggle. You are permitted to take as long as you need to heal.
At Adullam Mission House, we create spaces where self-compassion is modeled and encouraged. You don't need to have it all together here. Come as you are, and let yourself be loved back to wholeness.